SIGNS OF GROWING OLD

I was shopping at Costco and bought a large item in a big box. Wheeling it out to my car in the parking lot, I was in the process of getting it into the back of my van, when I heard a car stop right behind me. A lady jumped out of the car on the driver side and asked, “Can I help you?” I said thank you, and she grabbed the other side of the box and heaved it into the van. I thanked her again, and she left.
My wife was sitting in the van in the driver seat. When I got in she said, “You know you really look old, when a women, at least eight month pregnant, jumps out of her car to help you lift something.” I hate it when she’s right.

—————————————————————————————–

A few years later I was bringing home a patio set. It was one of the common ones made of black steel mesh. I was in the process of extracting it out of my van when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around I saw a sheriff deputy standing behind me.
I was about explain that I didn’t steel it when the deputy said, smiling, “Let me help you with that.” They picked up the table, put in over their head and took it up the stairs and placed it in my patio for me.
I was lucky that the deputy was on another call and happen to be there, and really lucky that she was so strong.

——————————————————————————————–
As we grow older it becomes harder to find social groups to join that we feel we can participate in. I can recommend one that has worked out well for me. The headquarters are in Port Ludlow, Washington. It is the GOOFs, (Grand Order of Old Farts). We have many chapters around the world, all of which are anonymous. We don’t want to be under surveillance from the governments. All you have to do to be one, is look in the mirror and be honest. (More info. Below.)
Notice
Due to the fact that the GOOF organization, (GRAND ORDER OF OLD FARTS), has started its annual membership drive and is acting as an umbrella structure for more political influence in the area of all undertakings concerning Farts in general, the following national chapters are recognized:
1. The OFDs…..Old Farts of Distinction. (Realizing of course none of the present members fall in this category.)

2. The MDFs….Modern Day Farts. These younger farts have a lot to offer the organization. They can help the members to use their phones, computers, I-pads, and even the GPS in their cars. Another plus is they don’t smell as bad as the old farts.

3. The REDs…..Retired-Extremely-Dangerous. Some of this group belong to the NRA, but the vast majority of them just own a car. The hard core members own a truck.

4. The WAIs…..Who Am I….(Most of the membership will join this chapter before their final retirement).

Based on the prestige of membership in these exclusive and fine organizations it is imperative that there is no dribbling or snoring at meetings.
By order of the Czar
In charge of
FART OVERSITE, U.S.GOVERMENT, WASHINGTON D.C.
Active 4/1/2015
Until further notice