In the town of Oceanside, I have watched a group of about 12 young/new mothers, with their new precious gifts tucked snugly in their strollers. They meet early in the morning just below my fifth-floor veranda when I am having my morning coffee. I come to Oceanside often and have watched them meet and take off down the back street at a good clip. Every time I see them, I think what a wonder routine that is. It isn’t very often I encounter anything that has no downside to it.

Everything about the group is positive. The new mothers need the exercise to get their normal non-pregnant body back in shape. The baby gets used to a moving environment around them. They will adapt to life more easily and not be frightened by it. The community has healthier mothers and children as residents.

The social comradery is also of great importance for the mothers. A new mother stuck at home, especially now with our lock down, has good reason to get depressed. It is a time that she needs her friends around her for support.

I smile as I watch them trotting down the street. I’m not too sure why, but I get a very warm feeling around my heart as I watch them. The babies are very fortunate to have mothers that are so committed to good health. Not only for themselves, but so they will live long and healthy lives to take care of them.

I said there was no downside. It depends on who you are, I guess. I feel a little sorry for the husbands that get up in the morning and have to make their own coffee, because momma is walking the baby. It’s OK though. Men are tough, they can handle it.

I hear that they are going to change the name of one of my favorite ski resorts, Squaw Valley, to a new name still to be determined. It seems that it is offensive to Native Americans. A number of names have been changed because they are offensive to one group or another. I have no problem with that. I think sometimes there is perhaps a little over-sensitivity involved, but that’s ok. If it makes some group feel better, that is a good thing. I just don’t want to be left out.

I have a sensitivity about something that I believe at least 100 million others have, or at least should have. It isn’t even a whole word. How can just three letters change the world?

What are the three letters, and why do they affect, in a negative way, many different groups that want to get rid of them? The letters are ISM. Three letters that affect more people than all of the rest of the letters put together – at least in my world.

I will give two examples. The first one is the word Race. We all belong to a race because we define race by the container our Self lives in. It would be ridiculous to try to judge the contents of all the packages in a UPS truck just by looking at the boxes they come in, but that is what we do with humans when we talk about race.

The body has no life force. The body is just the container for the brain. If the brain dies the body becomes just a chunk of meat. We need to look at the brain to see who we are. If we do, we find there is no difference no matter what our container looks like. We are all the same. We should strike the word racism out of our dictionary and out of our lives. The world has been working on that for a long time. I hope we are getting closer so all of us can see ourselves when we are looking at another container.

The second ism that affects a few hundred thousand is Ageism. This one affects me very personally. The term sets boundaries and limits on what we can do based on our age. It makes the assumption that because our containers are a bit damaged from the journey that our brains are too. That just isn’t true.

We are still capable of doing extraordinary things. How do we define extraordinary? The dictionary says things which are strange, unusual, unexpected, surprising, bizarre and other terms like those are extraordinary, there is no reason why an elderly person can’t do those things, and we do so all the time.

Every time we do something that is outside the normal limitations that the term ageism has set for us, we are extraordinary. We need to educate the masses that we are still functional and not invisible except to them. There are times, of course, when it is best to be invisible – like when someone needs to do the dishes.

Karin and I are back on the road again going to our timeshares. We arrived at one of our favorite places, Oceanside. Wow! What a difference in procedure to check in. We had to call on the phone and tell them we were outside ready to check in. It was 2:00pm, the time I normally check in because I am what they call a VIP, but not that day, I had to wait until 4:00pm which is the regular check in time.

There were no comfortable lounges in the lobby like normal – all seating had been taken out. We had to wait outside in our car for two hours.

We were able to use the pool during our stay, but only for one hour and with a reservation made the day before. All of the other normal activities were canceled. It worked out well for us. We had Karin’s great granddaughter and one of my great-grandsons with us.

They did the beach one day and the pool for two days. One morning we walked a mile and had breakfast at the “Swami’s”; we walked out to the end of the pier and had dinner at Ruby’s, also a mile walk.

Life can be so simple if we let it. That is one of the good things about being 85 years old. People are inclined to let you do anything you want. Your kids worry about you getting hurt for a change, instead of you worrying about them getting hurt. It is a time when they find out that you can be just as obstinate as they were when they were teenagers.

I was pleased with all of the extra precautions we had to put up with because I felt safe there. We were only there for four days. In September we will be staying for three weeks. Perhaps a few more activities will be open then. The two I missed the most were the gym and the ice cream social. Both necessary, the gym to keep me healthy enough that I can eat the ice cream to keep me happy.

It is so much fun I wish I could be 85 forever, but then 86 may be even better. Only time will tell.

As I sit here at my desk wondering how long this staying at home is going to last, I’m looking at the pictures I have on my wall. I see them of course, every day, but I don’t actually see them.

I find just siting and looking at them, letting the image enter my mind rather than letting it just flash in and out of my brain. I can close my eyes and let my mind go back to when I took them; the whole day comes back to me in sharp focus.

I have pictures on my wall from the Grand Canyon, Africa, Panama, Costa Rica and the Amazon. Each time I concentrate on one of them, my mind goes back to the actual instant when I took the picture; I can see in my mind all the things that were around me.

I see the entire water hole that the bird was sitting in; I see the tree that the birds had the nest in. It’s all in my mind and the pictures bring back the entire experience so I can enjoy it again. Looking at the picture and letting my mind go free (which, as I get older could be disastrous, it might not come back), I can relive my adventures.

It’s amazing what the mind holds in the brain. We are mostly unaware that our past is so well stored. It is like having it stored in the cloud and forgetting the passwords.

Our past is still living deep in some crevasse of our brain. It is frustrating trying to bring a memory back out for us to enjoy without the password. The triggers to our memory take many different forms. The key to open a memory might be just a word that somebody says or perhaps a story that they are telling. It could be an odor that brings back memories. In my case the photos on my walls do a great job of parting the clouds. Each one takes me back to some point in my life of wonder. I am reminded of how incredible this planet I call home is, and how fortunate I am to be allowed to explore it. I have been given health, political freedom, and enough money and opportunity to live as a wandering wonderer. I love my country

My new book volume II, leans more into what it takes to try many different things. I try to show the kind of effort it takes to see how good you are at something and how important it is to give your best effort, or you will never know.

If you find you’re not good at something, it’s alright, you have learned something. That’s the only way for you to find what you’re good at. I’ve tried many things. I gave each one my very best effort. I was never the best at any of them, but with enough effort, could generally be pretty good. When I got good at something, this was the signal for me to try something new. I was proud of my accomplishment and moved on before I got complacent, to a different skill to learn. When you are doing something that is simple for you to do, you’re not learning anything.

My new book, volume II, is based on that premise.  My parents, when I was very young, taught me a lesson that I didn’t realize until I was an adult. I wondered where I got this idea that, “The world is a classroom. All you have to do is be a good student to get a good education.”

My parents were poor and never thought I would be able to go to college, so they taught me, as I grew up, how they had learned. I was constantly asked, almost every day, “What did you learn today?” Then we would discuss whatever I came up with. Many days I didn’t know what I learned until my mother started asking questions about what I had done. I realized all the little things I had not paid any attention to which had something to teach me.

Well here I am, 85 years old and still learning from the world around me, every day. A good example is what I learned from the birds of Indio, Ca.  I want to pass on a little important lesson I learned from them.

I was sitting at the table on my small patio of the second floor where my lady-friend, Karin, and I were staying.  It is one of my time shares. We like feeding the birds, so I buy bird seed and put it in a plate on the patio wherever we’re staying. On this trip I took an aluminum pie plate to feed the birds in. It was shiny, something the birds had never seen before.

I filled it with food and the birds came onto the railing and looked down at it. Some came down and walked to within a foot or so from the plate, then flew away. They kept coming back but just couldn’t bring themselves to get in the plate and eat. They were afraid. The shiny pie pan was an unknown to them. None of them were brave enough to see what it was, even though they really wanted the food in it.

Karin and I talked about it. How very much like humans they were.

How many times have you wanted something in your life, that was there, but you were too timid for some reason to do it or to take it? The birds were missing out on a fine meal of high-quality bird food, because they were frightened of the unknown.

I can only hope that the next time I encounter a situation where I feel uncomfortable, inadequate, or for any other reason, consider passing up a good thing, I will remember the birds of Indio and just go for it.

Like everyone else I have been stuck at home for weeks now and have had a lot of time to just think. How has this new normal affected me? It is interesting the mood swings I have gone through. At first, I thought it was no big deal, just an inconvenience for a while.

I was in Alabama visiting my family when it all started the first week in March. Everything shut down so fast that I wasn’t sure I was going to get home. On my flights home there were only eight people on the first flight, Birmingham to Houston; only 35 on a big plane from Houston to Orange County. That is when I realized this was a bigger deal than I had first thought.

When I got home, Karin made me go directly to the shower and put all my clothes in the washing machine before I could give her a hug. That’s when I wondered, (I am a wonderer), what the hell is going on? I had not been watching TV at all.

Now many weeks into what’s going on, I’m still not sure. I have been basically on lockdown – house bound. All my reservations for March, April, May, and June were canceled by the resorts where I was booked for two weeks each month.

I didn’t get angry, as a biologist I understood the problem. The media has scared the bejesus out of everybody. We are not all going to die. Knowing what we know now about the problem we could open the entire country up if all the population would just follow the rules established to prevent the spread of the virus. They work!

I watch the protesters, not wearing masks, mobbed all together, carrying their signs to open things up, and I can’t help thinking, how stupid can these people be? They are involved in an activity that prolongs what they are protesting. Are they really that ignorant or do they just not give a poopoo for anyone but themselves?

Through the frustration that I have felt as time passes there are some good thing that have entered my life because of this chaos. I have watched a pair of Nuthatch birds build a nest in my patio, I work out every day instead of three days a week, and I have time to enjoy the flowers that are in my green-belt where the rabbits and squirrels live. If you are old enough to remember the children’s story of Ferdinand the Bull that wouldn’t fight in the ring because all he wanted to do was smell the flowers. That’s what I’ve become. I have learned to Hang Loose.

It is amazing how some things that seemed important in my life have become unimportant, and things that were important to me as a young person have reentered my life. For example, I no longer care much about what’s going on in the sports world but want to be more tuned in to what everyone in my family is doing. My family has become the rock in my life, again, like it was when I was growing up. I feel I don’t need all the other stuff that has surrounded me as an adult. Is that good, or bad? I don’t know, perhaps, time will tell.

I apologize for neglecting my blog for over a year but, of course, I have a good excuse, at least it is the best one I can come up with. To maintain a blog, it takes thinking and time. Last year was an off-the-wall year for Karin and me. Karin had three heart operations, a couple of stents and a new valve.  I had two leg operations to clear clots in the arteries.

Our time was used up in hospitals and going to doctor appointments and the mind was too occupied to think much. We are both back to exercising and working at being healthy again. Looking back on it, it was an excellent year of body repair and now we are good to go, for another decade!

As 2020 is now rapidly passing us by and includes Social Distancing, we have decided to reevaluate our mode of operation in the planning of the year’s travel. All of our trips we had planned for March, April, May and June were cancelled. We will be staying close to home in Oceanside for about two weeks in July, and may take a road trip around California to see our families that are in central California.

Oceanside and Indio have become our second and third homes. They are only an hour or two from the Laguna area where we live and both are full resorts with everything you could want right there.

We have made another change in our lives. Karin has invited me to move into her house. I am renting my condo and have a new man cave in one of Karin’s bedrooms. We believe it is the best arrangement for us.  I know that our children are happy about it because they all worried about us living alone. I’ve fallen down the stairs twice, but it was ok I didn’t bleed on anything. Karin has needed a few quick rides to the ER just to keep them on their toes in case she ever really needs them.

We did not make any new year’s resolutions this year. We decided to choose a word that we could use to evaluate all of our activities in 2020. Karin’s word is JOY- will it bring joy to her or someone else? My word is HAPPY- will it make me or someone else happy? It makes our choices in life much easier and is working well for us.

 

I am still writing, it makes me happy and I hope, occasionally someone else. I have two new books being published this year. Karin is working on one that should be out in 2021. Karin and I still each have our own paths to follow and support each other in them.

 

Till next time, stay close to home, wear a mask where necessary and remember, Patience is a virtue, but don’t be too virtuous or you won’t get anything done.     

 

 

Realizations while in Banff. #1

The white puffy clouds float by overhead in a sea of brilliant blue sky.

Our spirits, like the lofting black peaks around us, seem to be reaching/searching for the tranquility of that vermilion sea.

The raindrops falling gently on our upturned faces are proof that it is really there, and not just a dream.

Peace, tranquility and love are all around us, as the trees sing their songs, and their leaves do a dance to the wind.

Our very souls are revived and we realize that the entire Earth is alive around us. Even as I hold your hand, the trees are growing, the ocean is rising, and the continents are moving.

We are blessed to be part of this incomprehensible scheme which we try so hard to understand.

Perhaps some time in the future, the eagle soaring through the sky above will explain it all to us.

Until then, we must cherish what we have and care for it, as well as each other, the best we can, never forgetting in our hearts the big picture and that we are an important part of it.

 

Realizations while in Banff. #2

As I look out at the forest on the other side of my window, I realized there is a similarity between my life, and probably yours also, with the life of the trees.

There are young ones that are all green and bushy and very much alive and older ones that are straight and tall with no branches on the trunks as they reach for the sky but still have a lot of green at the top.

It seems the tree is really alive only at the top and has forgotten all the life it had growing up. I think we sometimes forget our past and don’t give it the credit it deserves.

Like the trunk of the tree, our past is our foundation – without it we would have no future. We are living the life our past has trained us to live. There is almost nothing we do today that we did not learn to do in the past.

It is true that the only things that will be difficult in our future are the things we have not yet learned to do in our past.

Today is your past for tomorrow, strive to learn something new every day – so your future will be more interesting than difficult.

 

Realizations while in Banff. #3

On our drive from Canmore, Canada, to see the Columbia Glacier field in Jasper Park, we encountered more tour buses than I could keep track of. It seemed every place we stopped there were at least 40 people milling around that were either coming from, or going back to, one of the 60 passenger buses.

They were always in a hurry because the buses didn’t stop very long at each place and everyone wanted their spot at the railing to photograph the views. Most of them were from faraway places and were as amazed at what they were seeing as we were, but as I sat and watched them fighting for their spot at the rail, I had mixed emotions.

First I was irritated when they pushed in front of me, but as I watched them at all the places we stopped during the day, they didn’t bother me anymore.

I was happy for them to be able to travel here and share the beauty with me. I was sad for them for not having the time to just sit, like Karin and me, so they could absorb what could not be seen, but only felt, for that is what creeps into your soul and is life changing about this place.

The photos I have taken will remind us, and show others, where we were, but only our inner-self can feel the communication we felt with nature, as we sat quietly on the benches around the park, and will have with us for a lifetime.

 

 

 

Have you ever given much thought to why you are who/what you are? Why you are in the line of work your in? Did you follow your passion or was the job just there and you adjusted your life to fit it? Why you chose the friends you have? What is it about them that makes you want to keep a friendship with them? Many people never ask themselves those questions. When we really think about them, and are honest with ourselves, it can be rather scary.

Where did you get the ideas to do the things you do? It is said that there are no new ideas, and everything you do has been done before by someone-some place-at some time. When we are born we have no idea what we want to do, somewhere along the line we have to get an idea that we act on and that becomes our path to whatever/whoever we become. Where did your idea come from?

Who we are is a good question because it has three answers for each of us. We are the person we think we are, (our own self-image, love it or hate it, it’s your choice). We are the person others think we are, (to them it’s their guide as to how they treat us). It only stands to reason that the person we really are is somewhere between the other two. Our self-image is what we strive to maintain and nourish with the choices we make in life. My mother coached me as I grew up, choose your friend carefully. Don’t judge them by what they say, but rather by who their friends are, because your friends are a mirror of who you really are.

As I meditate on my own life I realize many people set me on the path that led me to my computer to write this blog. There was the man fishing in the surf when I was five years old, and very excited, and frustrated, because I didn’t know what kind of fish I had just caught that set me on the path to be a teacher. I wrote about it in my book, (Life, according to Grandpa – The Fish).

A few years later five unknown boys narrowed my path to the ocean and an unknown news photographer made a mistake in an article he wrote. His mistake took me on an unrelated side road that totally changed and refocused my path in life for a few years. I returned to my original path because I realized that it was my passion and made it my freeway to a life worthwhile, and more fun than anyone deserves.

These people, (and many more), were my guides/inspiration that kept me on my path, and are responsible for who I am today. I wonder when and where I will meet my next guide and where he/she will lead me. There are so many doors in life that I have not yet opened and I’m excited with the expectation of what lies ahead.

I was fortunate, (1958), to walk with Sir Edmond Hillary on a hike in the Antarctic, and I vividly remember his words, “To rest is not to conquer”. I have not rested since that hike, and have no plans of resting in the future.

As I was watching and listened to President Trump give his speech at Arlington Cemetery today it brought back memories which I had buried somewhere in my memory archives, and pushed them to the front of my brain. I had to ask myself, why do we have wars? Everyone seems to have their own opinion based on their background. To me the reasons for most of the worlds’ wars fall into conflicts to do with territory, religion, and fear.

Looking even closer, most conflicts have to do with fear. We all have fear of being forced to lose any of these, our territory, our religion, or our freedom. We don’t want to lose anything we have, and fear not being able to get anything we think we need.

The country leaders treat war like a game. They decide what moves we must make to mitigate these fears. The militaries are pieces that move where the leaders tell them, like pieces on a chess board. It’s a giant board game to the ones orchestrating it. The difference is people suffer and die playing it. So why do they volunteer?

Why do we volunteer to possibly lay down our lives so the leaders can play the game of war? The answer is simple, fear. The soldier is driven by fear, not for themselves, but for the ones they love more than themselves. The families and friends that are at home. Who else is so important to them that they would put themselves in harm’s way?

They don’t hate or fear the enemy in front of them, they fight because they love and fear for the ones behind them. When the fears are alleviated, enemies become friends. We Americans are friends now with the Japanese and the Germans, who were once our greatest enemies. We don’t fear each other anymore.

When I take my walks late at night in the solitude of the darkness, things that I normally am able to suppress, seem to float back into my pondering, and I realize I don’t cry for the dead; I do, however, cry for the ones that were not part of the game and bore the suffering caused by it.

The wives that never had a hug from their husbands again, the children that never knew the love of a father, the parents that grew old and died without their son/daughter there to take care of them and say goodbye to, and the ones that came home and were severely handicapped the rest of their lives. These are the ones that truly suffer from wars. I still cry for them.